Wesley's Secret Eggplant Recipe

Some recipes exist to nourish the body. This one exists to nourish the soul of anyone who has ever stared down an eggplant and thought, “absolutely not."

Wesley’s so-called secret? Grind that eggplant into oblivion, rinse the evidence down the drain, and mix yourself a proper Kentucky bourbon cocktail. The “preparation” takes about 20 minutes, most of which is spent waiting for the eggplant smell to disappear.

This is a joke recipe from the early days of online recipe sharing (1996!), and it belongs to a proud tradition of anti-recipes that poke fun at divisive ingredients. If you genuinely do want to cook eggplant, try roasting slices with olive oil and salt until they caramelize and turn silky. But if you’re firmly in the anti-eggplant camp, Wesley has your back.

Pro Tips

• Use a good sipping bourbon, not cooking bourbon. You’ve earned it.
• The 7-Up is optional, but it does make the bourbon go down smoother if you’re not a straight-pour person.
• If someone gifted you the eggplant from their garden, smile and say thank you before proceeding with Wesley’s method.