Kissin' Cousin's Chili

This is a no-bean, all-meat Texas chili built on coarsely ground beef chuck and a can of beer. If you’re the kind of person who thinks beans in chili is a crime, you’re in the right place.

The spice lineup goes nine deep: chili powder, cumin, black pepper, paprika, celery salt, red pepper flakes, sage, oregano, thyme, and coriander. That’s not a random pantry dump. Each one adds a layer, from the smoky warmth of the paprika to the earthy bite of the cumin and the unexpected herbal note from sage. Rotel chiles and tomatoes bring heat and acidity to cut through all that rich beef fat.

The beer thins the chili during cooking and leaves behind a malty depth once the alcohol cooks off. Add more as it simmers if it gets too thick. You want this saucy, not stiff.

Two cooking methods here: microwave for speed, or slow cooker for 6 to 8 hours if you want the flavors to really meld.

Kitchen Tips

• Use coarsely ground chuck, not fine-ground burger. The bigger pieces hold their texture through long cooking and give the chili a meaty chew.
• If using the slow cooker, brown the beef and sauté the onions on the stove first. Skipping the browning leaves the chili tasting flat.
• Taste and adjust seasoning after the first hour of cooking. Spices bloom and shift as they cook, and you may want more cumin or heat by the end.

Variations

• Swap the beer for beef broth if you prefer a non-alcoholic version.
• Add a square of dark chocolate in the last 30 minutes for a richer, more complex base.
• Top with sharp cheddar, diced raw onion, and a squeeze of lime.