Almost Better Than Sex Cake

Better Than Sex Cake (or its slightly more polite twin, this “Almost” version) is the Midwestern potluck dessert that earned its name through pure caloric ambition. It’s a poke cake at heart: bake a German chocolate cake from a box, poke it full of holes while it’s still hot, and pour sweetened condensed milk into every channel.

The holes are what make it work. The hot cake absorbs the condensed milk straight into its crumb, turning each square into something halfway between a cake and a tres leches. Then comes a layer of caramel syrup, a thick blanket of whipped topping, and a generous handful of crushed Heath bars (or any toffee chocolate bar) sprinkled over the top.

It’s not subtle, it’s not refined, and it’s been the most popular thing at every cookout where it shows up.

Pro Tips

• Add the chocolate chips after 10 minutes of baking (the recipe says it). Adding them at the start sinks them all to the bottom of the cake.
• Poke the cake while it’s still piping hot, immediately out of the oven. A wooden spoon handle gives you holes the right size; toothpicks are too small for the condensed milk to flow into.
• Pour the condensed milk slowly so it has time to seep down before pooling on top. Pouring it all at once leaves the bottom dry.
• Refrigerate for at least 4 hours (overnight is better) so the layers set and the flavors meld.
• Sprinkle the candy bars on right before serving so they keep their crunch.

Variations

• Use chocolate cake mix instead of German chocolate for a deeper, less coconut-pecan flavor.
• Replace caramel sauce with dulce de leche or hot fudge for a different sweet topping.
• Swap Heath bars for crushed Snickers, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups, or chopped chocolate-covered pretzels for a different texture and flavor.